Old Dogs & New Tricks

Old Dogs & New Tricks

I have a good grasp of technology, says the smug me. Mistake number one. Building a website should be like doing a jigsaw. And it is …. Apparently. It’s just that the jigsaw I have in front of me is a 5000 piece without an image of the finished picture. Oh, and it appears to be all in hues of the same colour.

Basically, I can use a computer and the Microsoft Suite for most things, though Excel still confuses the hell out of me. With the help of my grandkids, I’ve learned about Netflix and Foxtel, well enough to find some things I want to watch or save. On mobiles and tablets I’m able to downloaded apps and uploaded photos as needed. So, I stupidly thought I had all bases covered. Oh, how wrong I was. How very, very wrong! I would have more chance putting together an item of furniture bought as a flatpack with the instructions written in Chinese.

Nevertheless, I thought I’d give it a go. I’m stubborn and don’t like to be seen as incapable. That was mistake number two. Although I managed to write the title for the website, with a fancy subtitle, and even establish my URL (though not actually sure how that came about) before hitting the LAUNCH button, that was where it all ended. Try as I might I wasn’t able to change the font size or colour, though did manage to apply a background colour, more by good luck rather than any skill, and somehow even saved the example picture, even though it wasn’t what I wanted. I quickly realised I was out of my depth and needed some assistance. And by assistance I really meant for someone to take control of the whole project. So that’s what I did.

I handed over my password and gave my friend carte blanche to transforming my blank canvas into a work of art. Which worked well until she started asking me questions such as how many pages I wanted, what the purpose of the site was, what I wanted as my philosophy and profile, and did I have any specific styles of websites I liked. Fortunately, this was by text so she wasn’t able to see my crossed eyes and blank stare. I suddenly felt like a Year 1 student attempting to sit the ATAR Physics exam. I emailed a photo of myself, and the cover and synopsis of my first novel, along with some of my 750 word writings for my blog. And then patted myself on the back, thinking I had done a great job. A couple of weeks later I received her email asking what I thought of the website. Brilliant, I thought, I’m up and running. Apparently not! Just stage one. More questions from her, more blanks from me. Then we agreed it was probably best we meet and work on it together. That’s a plan I could go with. So, we did, and I seemed to understand it … at that time.

Then, feeling very confident when I returned home, I decided to do some work on the website, all by myself. Mistake number three. A very, very BIG mistake. I managed to find and upload some images which could be used. I felt rather proud. I even managed to use one of the images as the header, and even though it seemed a little distorted it looked ok. With my newfound confidence I decided to tackle removing the main picture, and replacing it with something else. And that was where everything turned to shit. A big pile of shit. And the more I tried to correct it, the worse it became. Apparently, you should hit the ‘Preview’ button rather than the ‘Publish’ one.

So now my beautiful friend is going to have to spend lots of time undoing my mistakes and correcting them. It would have been better if I had stopped with just uploading images and letting her know which ones I wanted to use, and where they should go. And I can’t seem to find how to add this ramble to my blog page because the ‘+’ button seems to have jumped off the page.

I think I’ll just keep to doing what I think I do best … my writing, and leave the techno stuff to those who do it best. It seems you CAN’T teach an old dog new tricks.

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